January 14, 2010

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

My dad always says life is a cycle ... a cycle of ups and downs.

Just a year ago Chris and I were living in Cambridge in one of my favorite apartments of all time with a washer and dryer in unit and a fancy granite kitchen and walk-in closets and a 24 hour concierge that took our dry cleaning and held our packages.  And we had just gotten back from a trip to South America and I was relaxing and enjoying my winter break all while planning my final semester at MIT.  We thought we would graduate with fancy jobs and move to New York City and start fabulous lives.  That is what we thought.

It's funny how things change isn't it?

I thought about this yesterday when we were walking to the supermarket in my parents' neighborhood.  We don't have a car so we walked to pick up the soy milk, tortilla chips (for the guacamole I was gonna make with the avocados growing in the front yard) and rice krispy treat ingredients.  We only had twenty dollars left so we had to make sure everything we bought was going to be less than that which meant we had to leave the yogurt for another day.  And then we went to the Red Box to rent a free movie with a promo code we found online.  And with grocery bags in hand we ran across the major street that separates my parents' neighborhood and the Stater Brothers market and headed back home -- to the spare bedroom and futon where we are currently residing.

When we went to San Francisco last weekend my mom gave me "spending money" and when we go to eat ramen or pick up a pizza my little sister volunteers to pick up the tab.  I guess it's kinda funny when you think about it.  It's funny that at age 29 I'm living at home, jobless and don't have a penny to my name while my mom at age 29 had two children, owned a house, and managed a restaurant.  That seems so strange to me.  Sometimes I feel like I'm getting behind ... like life keeps moving -- rather quickly might I add -- and I'm just here.  I'm stuck in this rut of a crappy economy and I'm waiting to find my perfect job.  But just when I start to feel sorry for myself, just when I'm hitting another low, I think about how things could be much much worse.  And then I think about our friends and family and all the support they've given us.  I think about Christopher and his ever positive attitude and his ability to make things seem better even when they're pretty poopy.  I think about what's to come and all the future that still lays ahead us -- and you know what -- I realize that we're only just beginning.  There are weddings to be had and babies to be made and futures to be created.  And then I smile because I'm glad we're only 30 and I'm glad we haven't yet begun because that means there's just that much more to be experienced.   And then I breath a sigh of relief and I don't feel as worried anymore and I can continue on with my day.


grace said...

hmmm you know i was just talking about this with one of my anderson classmates, about how i'm almost 30 and can't seem to win at the game of love... and she said, you know, we're a part of an elite class (her words, not mine) and we had other priorities that came first. and we just achieved those great goals so we should give ourselves a break on what's yet to come...

grace said...

p.s. that's a big honking ring.

Mayra said...

Just know that you are not alone:) Things will pick up. Enjoy your free time now, while you have it!

Coastal Suzz said...

personally, your day sounded really fun and interesting. way to be resourceful! let the dalai lama be with you in mind and spirit - this is a time in your life when many challenges will come and perception is reality

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