September 1, 2010

Guest Blogger by the name of Ponch. Poncho Huang.

Hello. My name is Poncho and I am a Boston Terrier.  
I am also very good looking. Just look at how handsome I am.  
Here -- let me pose for you. 


Don't mind my triple chin.  It's just a bad angle.

I go by a variety of nicknames:
  • Poncheeto
  • Poncho-cho-cho-cho
  • Mr. Pom Pom
  • Monsieur Stinky Bum (Christopher calls me that. He thinks he's so funny.)
Either way.  Call me what you like because it really doesn't matter to me - I hardly respond -- unless there's a treat or squeaky toy involved.
 
Because of my propensity to misbehave, Ivy sent me to doggy boot camp about a year ago.  I spent two weeks learning the following things: 
  • No biting Obette's uncle's toe.  (It only bled a little.)
  • No biting Obette's cousin's hand.  (I didn't break skin.  It was just a bruise.)
  • No snapping at Ivy's mom's friends.  (If you don't rub my head before I'm ready to let you, I won't snap.  It's that simple.)
  • No barking like a crackhead maniac whenever I see the gardener, mailman, FedEx guy, neighbors, Jehovah's witnesses, or anyone else I don't recognize.
I also learned some basic doggy manners like how to walk on a leash and how to interact civilly with other dogs.  I'm good now.  Really I am.   

I also like to learn tricks.  I pick them up fairly quickly.  It's just what I do.  My newest one is begging:


For your information, I did that trick 4 times in a row and didn't even get a treat.  Rude. 

Anyhow, the last few weeks have been just wretched.  Ivy brought home the little one.  Everyone oohs and aahs over her.  
"Pepper's so cute.  Pepper's so adorable.  Pepper's so perfect."  
"Pepper makes Poncho look fat."  
Pepper Pepper Pepper. That's all I've been hearing these days.


I've been wondering when they're going to take her back to where she came from. Not only does she poop and pee everywhere - including my bed (twice), she also barks and whines constantly and well, she's just annoying.  She likes to bite my legs, my back and my manhood (everyone thinks that's funny.  real funny)

She steals my toys:


And when I finally get it back, she bites my cheeks.  It's not very nice.


And the worst part of all of this is: She gets all of the attention.  My attention.  For example, last weekend, when Pepper was sick, Ivy took her to Palm Springs and left me all by myself at the house.  She never does that.  She always takes me with her.  And when I was lonely all weekend, only Christopher paid attention to me.  And well Ting let me on her bed - which was nice.  So I slept with them.   

But I was still sad because Ivy took Pepper and left me behind.  But it's okay, I showed her.  I made a mess of her bed sheets and then threw up on them.  

When she came home tonight, she brought my favorite apple treats thinking I could so easily forgive and forget.  I took the treat and then I farted and walked away.

Anyhow, let's end this post on a good note.  Let's look at more pictures of my handsome self.


Just look at how cute I am.


Here I am again.


And this is one of my favorites.


Well I hope everyone has a good evening.  Enjoy the new episode of Teen Mom.  I know I will.

Good night.

Yours truly,
Poncho. 

1 comments:

grace said...

mr. ponchee you are quite a handsome dog. and a funny writer i might add!

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